It has OFFICIALLY been 3 Years since Ive been SINGLE; Technically. My last solidified relationship lasted between June, 2001 through April, 2005. I was quite young during those four years, and endured what seemed like a LIFETIME of Xperience, Stress, HeartBreak, Love, Happiness, Confusion, Pain and Chaos.
Im one to Believe that the Love of Your Life has the ability to Make You feel at Your Very BEST. Meanwhile, He or She can Say and Do things to ALSO Make You Feel Your Very WORST.
For ME, being in a relationship is NOT the Ultimate Dream or the Ultimate Measure of Comfort and Success. I am asked, ALL-OF-THE-TIME, ' by MANY of YOU, My Close Friends and Male Associates, especially, Xem, WHY are You Still Single?'...
This is a Question that often times, Im NOT Sure of, Myself, BUT...I DO have a CLUE as to WHY My Status is So.
DUDES DO NOT LISTEN!
I Make it a Point, on the FIRST Date, to tell Dudes that DESPITE the Photos of Me that they May have seen, or the Persona that they got into of Me Dancing in the Club and singing along to the Music, I DO ENJOY being ALONE, 75% of the time. I am NOT the type of person, and NEVER have been, one to WANT or NEED to spend time with Someone else on a daily basis. It SEEMS, Visually, that I am a LOT MORE Social than I Truly am, in Real Life. In All HONESTY, I Spend the Majority of My Weekends, ALONE in my apartment; Writing, Editing Photos, Posting Commentary, Watching Movies, and Relaxing. I think Dudes Meet Me and XPECT an around the clock 'Good-Time-Boy', and instead, they get ME; a man who is perfectly COMFORTABLE within his own skin; not in need of being On the Phone everyday after work, having My Friends over for Cocktails and Make Pretend Happy Hour Eventsd 3 and 4 Times a week, or being Laid Up/Boo.d Up Behind Closed Doors.
My parents raised us to be ALONE, without feeling LONELY, and its a Quality that I WISH Many Others Posessed. Growing up, I was allowed to Shut and Lock My Bedroom door on a daily basis. My parents, My sister and anyone else who came to the house was required to KNOCK on the door, and request my permission, BEFORE entering. I Never was FORCED to eat dinner at the Kitchen table, and I would spend Hours upon Hours, walking through our Mt. Washington neighborhood, with earphones on; listening to Music, and Thinking.
ALL of these elements Contributes to HOW I Can be an Adult, 3 Years Single, and still NOT feeling the NEED of 'Male Companionship'. I Date, from Time-to-Time; though Much of it feels FORCED, to say the least. I have become comfortable in my Lil World; which consists Mainly of My Personal and Private time. NO...I am NOT, necessarily a 'Private-Person'[Obviously], for I feel Completely Comfortable SHARING My Life with the World. However, its going to take a Very Strong, Confident and Patient Man to ever become Boyfriend#2. Its NOT a title that I Give Up EASILY, for I know what it feels like to Truly be with Someone Who LOVED ME MORE than he Sometimes LOVED Himself. Though that element caused a Great Deal of Jealousy, Insecurity and Posessive behavior on his part, he took the time, often enough, to Listen and Try to Understand that I was NEVER going to be that 24Hour a Day, 7Day a Week Boyfriend/Lover/Husband Type.
Sure, within the Next 3 Years, I would LOVE to be Married. However, I am Not, Unlike MANY others, going to FORCE Myself to TRY and Fall-in-Love with another individual, for the Sake of Saying, 'I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP'. Big Deal. I WANT My Next Relationship to be as Long-term as My Last, and I DONT Think Ive actually met another Dude, at this Point in Time, Who is WILLING to ACCEPT the Qualities about Me that REQUIRE a Great Deal of ALONE Time.
I Make it Clear from the Very Beginning, and STILL, Someones feelings SEEM to get Hurt.
Even IF I Like You a LOT, You are NOT going to SEE ME or HEAR from ME on a Daily Basis.
Get Over It!
Im one to Believe that the Love of Your Life has the ability to Make You feel at Your Very BEST. Meanwhile, He or She can Say and Do things to ALSO Make You Feel Your Very WORST.
For ME, being in a relationship is NOT the Ultimate Dream or the Ultimate Measure of Comfort and Success. I am asked, ALL-OF-THE-TIME, ' by MANY of YOU, My Close Friends and Male Associates, especially, Xem, WHY are You Still Single?'...
This is a Question that often times, Im NOT Sure of, Myself, BUT...I DO have a CLUE as to WHY My Status is So.
DUDES DO NOT LISTEN!
I Make it a Point, on the FIRST Date, to tell Dudes that DESPITE the Photos of Me that they May have seen, or the Persona that they got into of Me Dancing in the Club and singing along to the Music, I DO ENJOY being ALONE, 75% of the time. I am NOT the type of person, and NEVER have been, one to WANT or NEED to spend time with Someone else on a daily basis. It SEEMS, Visually, that I am a LOT MORE Social than I Truly am, in Real Life. In All HONESTY, I Spend the Majority of My Weekends, ALONE in my apartment; Writing, Editing Photos, Posting Commentary, Watching Movies, and Relaxing. I think Dudes Meet Me and XPECT an around the clock 'Good-Time-Boy', and instead, they get ME; a man who is perfectly COMFORTABLE within his own skin; not in need of being On the Phone everyday after work, having My Friends over for Cocktails and Make Pretend Happy Hour Eventsd 3 and 4 Times a week, or being Laid Up/Boo.d Up Behind Closed Doors.
My parents raised us to be ALONE, without feeling LONELY, and its a Quality that I WISH Many Others Posessed. Growing up, I was allowed to Shut and Lock My Bedroom door on a daily basis. My parents, My sister and anyone else who came to the house was required to KNOCK on the door, and request my permission, BEFORE entering. I Never was FORCED to eat dinner at the Kitchen table, and I would spend Hours upon Hours, walking through our Mt. Washington neighborhood, with earphones on; listening to Music, and Thinking.
ALL of these elements Contributes to HOW I Can be an Adult, 3 Years Single, and still NOT feeling the NEED of 'Male Companionship'. I Date, from Time-to-Time; though Much of it feels FORCED, to say the least. I have become comfortable in my Lil World; which consists Mainly of My Personal and Private time. NO...I am NOT, necessarily a 'Private-Person'[Obviously], for I feel Completely Comfortable SHARING My Life with the World. However, its going to take a Very Strong, Confident and Patient Man to ever become Boyfriend#2. Its NOT a title that I Give Up EASILY, for I know what it feels like to Truly be with Someone Who LOVED ME MORE than he Sometimes LOVED Himself. Though that element caused a Great Deal of Jealousy, Insecurity and Posessive behavior on his part, he took the time, often enough, to Listen and Try to Understand that I was NEVER going to be that 24Hour a Day, 7Day a Week Boyfriend/Lover/Husband Type.
Sure, within the Next 3 Years, I would LOVE to be Married. However, I am Not, Unlike MANY others, going to FORCE Myself to TRY and Fall-in-Love with another individual, for the Sake of Saying, 'I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP'. Big Deal. I WANT My Next Relationship to be as Long-term as My Last, and I DONT Think Ive actually met another Dude, at this Point in Time, Who is WILLING to ACCEPT the Qualities about Me that REQUIRE a Great Deal of ALONE Time.
I Make it Clear from the Very Beginning, and STILL, Someones feelings SEEM to get Hurt.
Even IF I Like You a LOT, You are NOT going to SEE ME or HEAR from ME on a Daily Basis.
Get Over It!
1 comment:
LP!!! The essence of Xem, my Xem. To know you is to love you. If you don't like it...KEEP IT MOVING! Who's next?
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