2009 Video Premiere: Loft XVA#1

He LOVES You...He LUVS You NOT

A Xem VanAdams XcluSive

Just because You're In-Love with Someone, does NOT mean that You're 'SUPPOSE' to be with that Someone.

~A Life Lesson Learned

2009 Video Premiere: Loft XVA#2

RICHE$ to RAGZ

A Xem VanAdams XcluSive

In the confines of ANY romantic relationship, NEVER rely upon the Wallet, Bank Account and Wealth of another Man, in solidifying the stability of your Present or Future Livelihood.

Faithful vs. UnFaithful

EVA MARCILLE & LANCE GROSS

Photographed by

DEREK BLANKS

At this point, I think that ALL of you are WELL AWARE of the FACT that the very Handsome actor, Lance Gross Proposed to Model/Actress, Eva Marcille on Xmas Eve.

We’ve been together a little over a year and a half. We’re pretty serious; we live together. She’s great. She’s supporting me in my dreams and I support her in hers. We really mesh. We’re like in our own little bubble, in La La Land. Yeah, that’s my baby.

- Lance in Clutch Magazine

JADE & NIK

Americas Next Top Model

Though I never so much as seen ONE episode of Americas Next Top Model during the season where NIC was featured, I LOVED Me some Jade. Trash her Attitude and Vocabulary all you want. The Chic is still HOT! Her vibe is Outrageous, and she does a Sin.Sational job in these Photos from a Magazine Spread entitled, UNFAITHFUL.

$OLD!

He LOVES You, He LOVES You NOT

If I got paid $1.50 for every Email, MySpace Note, FaceBook Message and YouTube Post that I receive daily, in regards to the plight of RELATIONSHIP turmoil, Id be still making the $53,000.00 a year that once cushioned my Bank Account. I realize that its easier for me to speak about certain DOs and DONT's, ONLY because Ive endured them in the past. HOWEVER, I sometimes WONDER why it is that we, as human beings, cant SEE the REALITY of our circumstances and situations, UNTIL we're standing on the outside of them.

When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, theres NO NEED to convince him that he should no longer be conversing with his Ex, on a fairly regular basis. When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, you DONT have to Fuss and Fight over him having an ACTIVE account on Adam4Adam, Men 4 Now or the Infamous, BGC. He will AUTOMATICALLY DELETE the Shit for You. When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he DOES NOT have Sex with other people during the one or two weeks that the two of you are 'Going Thru It', and 'Separated'. When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he does NOT make you feel GUILTY for wanting to spend quality time with your Friends, Family, Co-Workers, Classmates or other Aquaintances. He just DOESNT.

When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he provides you with the encouragement and motivation you NEED in order to advance your education, career or simple, mainstay in life. He does NOT criticize you for wanting to garner another degree, a new job, a new car, or new opportunities to frame the fruition of your future.

When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he does NOT put his hands on you in a way to Hurt or Bother your Physical Body and Spirit. Instead, he does EVERYTHING in his POWER to protect you from Harm; DARING another man to ever raise a hand to you.

When a man LOVES YOU, he isnt ashamed or embarrassed to introduce you to his Close Friends and Family, especially those who are well-aware of his Sexuality, and past relationships.

When a man LOVES YOU, he honors you daily...not simply with frivolous Christmas, Valentine's and Birthday 'GIFTS'. When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he would NEVER try to Talk To, Holla at, or Have Sex With One of your Friends, even during times of Anger and Disagreement.

When a man LOVES YOU, Truly, he is WILLING to put YOUR NEEDS before His Own, even when you WONT allow it. He stays in the damn house WITH YOU when you're sick, even when he has 'Plans' to Hang-Out with his Friends from Out of Town.

A MAN WHO LOVES YOU NEVER LEAVES YOU QUESTIONING THE VALIDITY OF HIS HEART.

Are You In a Relationship with a Man Who TRULY Loves You?

THINK about it....

Speak IT into EXISTENCE.

Between 2005-Present; which I hail as my adult maturation period, Ive enveloped the notion of Speaking Circumstances, Experiences, Opportunities and Situations, into EXISTENCE.

I use to think it was SILLY when the people in my inner-circle would tell me to simply SAY what I wanted to do, or to VERBALIZE how I wanted life to be, in regards to my presence. I did not understand how WORDS could be so poignant, powerful and strong in solidifying what the present and future has the potential to behold. NOW, more than ever before, I have been able to look back upon the past three years of my life, and SEE the aspects of my life that I LITERALLY SPOKE INTO EXISTENCE. Yes. It is Real.

What some people have a difficult time grasping, HOWEVER, is speaking into existence, Real-Life circumstances, but Also, polishing actions, behaviors and a mind-set that supports those WANTS and DESIRES. Life HAPPENS for those who create their own stance. Its very difficult to expect Life to HAPPEN, CHANGE or REARRANGE when as individuals, we DONT Change, Rearrange or ReDirect our Focus, Attitude and Existence. In my life, I have CHOSEN to be Successful. I have CHOSEN to share my Life with the World. I have CHOSEN to be Happy. I have CHOSEN to Love. I have CHOSEN to follow my artistic dreams. I came out of my mouth in January, 2008 and SAID, 'I am moving to California to Pursue My Dreams at Full Force.' I did NOT Say, 'I will be Wealthy and Financially Comfortable while doing so.'

I BELIEVE in the POWER and CONVICTION of Words. I BELIEVE that everyone has the POWER to DO. IF you put the ENERGY into the World, it will follow you along your path towards Righteousness. BELIEVE IT.

Growing up, My Mother, Grandmothers, Teachers and other elders told me to never say, 'I HATE This...or I HATE That'.
I, of course, did NOT completely understand the POWER of my words, or the presence of a Spirit; Positive and Negative, alike. It is my Philosophy, that individuals can verbally create their paths in life, for as long as the behaviors support the plan. When one claims to HATE Others or HATE Situations, they in turn, are creating a Negative following. That level of HATE intensifies, as the WORDS are spoken beyond bounds. It is NOW, as it has been before, a PART of My Journey, to SPEAK TRUTH. I want to Write, Speak, and Create for the rest of my life. I want to be paid MILLIONS of Dollars to use my Voice and the Power of My Pen regarding issues of Race, Class, Gender and Sexuality. I WILL achieve ALL of my goals, near and far. It Is My Destiny.

SPOKEN INTO EXISTENCE.

PERIOD.

Hands OFF My MAN! [Sloshy Whore]

Once upon a time, circa 2004, a very GOOD FRIEND of mine said, 'Xem, NEVER be SHOCKED by the things you see happen in our community; especially amongst the Men.'

It took years of experience prior to that statement, along with the mounds of experiences, situations and circumstances that comprised 2005 and 2006, for me to TRULY reach this phase in my life. Im at a point where I am able to examine life from a third person point of view; void of the vindictive, angry angst that once upon a time saturated my energy and spirit. Within the past year or so, Ive had a buddy in my life who has been extremely sad, distraught and beside himself. In 2007, a young man who he once befriended as a 'younger brother' type, as well as a confidante, STABBED HIM IN THE BACK, by dating, sleeping with and eventually moving in with his Ex-Boyfriend.

DISGUSTING! DISRESPECTFUL! DISHONORABLE!

I get flack for my opinions regarding the 'RULES of FRIENDSHIP'. However, it has ALWAYS been one of my Essential Rules to NEVER date, flirt-with, kiss, sleep with or be in constant communication with the Former Date, Side-Piece, Slosh Partner or EX-BOYFRIEND of someone who I consider to be a Friend. In My Opinion, ANYONE who one of your FRIENDS has ever been intimately and/or romantically involved with, is OFF LIMITS TO ME; Plain and Simple. I have been propositioned by Ex-Boyfriends of current Friends. I have been propositioned by Ex-Dates and Ex-Slosh Whores of current Friends. I have even been propositioned by Dudes who met me YEARS ago, through people who Im No Longer Friends with. STILL, Regardless of Circumstances; HORNY, ALONE, LONGING or feeling 'VINDICTIVE'...I Do Not have the Right to TAKE ADVANTAGE of these 'Opportunities'.

It KILLS ME to see individuals jump, without second thought, into 'Relationships' with someone who use to actually SLEEP-WITH one of their 'Friends'. There are a LOT of Miserable and Pathetic people in this world, ESPECIALLY within the younger, Gay community. YES, I said it. Somehow, these individuals dont STOP to REALIZE that the SAME WAYS in which the Ex was so Grimy to approach you with their Cruel Intentions, is the SAME WAY in which they will eventually approach one of your friends with the same. BLESSINGS will not hail over a union that is created in Pain, Jealousy, Lies and Deceit. There will always be PROBLEMS in existence that the couple is unable to 'Work-Through'. The issues will always seem LARGER and more INTRICATE than other relationships, in due part to the rocky, underhanded foundation.

One can not build solid walls upon shaky grounds.

I have ALWAYS made it PERFECTLY CLEAR to EVERYONE in My Life, that ANYONE and EVERYONE who Ive once Dated or been Involved with, is OFF-LIMITS. It may seem a bit territorial or controling. However, I am a very respectful individual. Regardless of my desires to sometimes, 'Be Bad', as an adult, I make the Best Decision to remain LOYAL unto the sanctity of my Friendship.

Romantic Relationships will ALWAYS Fizzle. When those moments present themselves, I ALWAYS want to be able to lay my head comfortably upon a circle of Friends who Loves and Supports me, eternally.

NOTICE:

Most of the Time, MEN and WOMEN who Sleep-With, Hook Up-With, Date and Move In-With their Friends' Former Lovers, often times, has NEVER had Close Friends, and More than Likely, NEVER WILL.

NEW Video: READY for LOVE

'Creation is Representation' [Xem; August 2008]

'Knowledge and Artistry ABOVE My own VANITY' [Xem; July 2008]

'Im Drenched in Love and Showered by Support'[Xem; April 2008]

'Life Without Photographs are Moments that Never Happened'

[Xem; August, 2007]

HE Should NOT Be Your ENTIRE World...

One of the WORST mistakes that I EVER made in my life, was Falling-In-Love and spending 80% of My Life with that Individual. I DONT REGRET Falling In Love. I DO, However, REGRET NOT spending SIGNIFICANT, QUALITY Time with ANYONE Other than HIM.

For FOUR years of my life, circa 2001-2005, I practically IGNORED the existence of My LifeLong Friends, and even my Family, to certain degrees. Its a COMMON MISTAKE made by MANY while they're still YOUNG. However, its a MISTAKE that can not only CO$T you the Ones who LOVE you Most, but ULTIMATELY, it can CO$T you, YOURSELF.

One IMPORTANT LESSON I LEARNED, if nothing more between 2005 and Present, is that MY FRIENDS and MY FAMILY are the STRONGEST and Most SINCERE Support System that I Have. People SAY it ALL-of-The-Time, but in my instance, TRUTH rings Loudly. In turn, I AM the ONLY Soul who KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS My Spirit, BETTER than Anyone other than the Creator.
When we involve ourselves in relationships where EVERYONE is Shut Out of our lives, aside from the Individual we're sleeping with, we are CUTTING OFF a SUPREME Filter. One can NOT breathe Fresh Air shut away from those who have breathed Life into their existence.

Its SAD that during 2005 and 2006, under great circumstances, I had to ReLearn what Life was TRULY about, living as a Single Man, surrounded by a World that is just as Open and Free as the Wind that Pushes us along Life's journey. I had to TRY and REMEMBER what it was to exist as XEM, without Friday Night Dates, Couch Cuddling Sessions, Long Car Rides for No Reason, and Holiday Shopping for 'That SPECIAL One'. INSTEAD, what I did, as OPPOSE to REPLACING those times, altogether, is that I began to participate in those SAME activities with My Friends, My Family and By My Damn SELF.

It's DIFFICULT to NOT involve someone you're 'In-Love' with into EVERY ASPECT of your life. It's HEALTHY, actually, to involve your Partner/Boyfriend/Husband/Lover/Girlfriend/Wife into the Social, Personal, Romantic and sometimes, Business layers of your daily existence. HOWEVER, its ALSO IMPORTANT to carve out a section of LIFE that is solely based upon your INDIVIDUAL Growth, Maturation and Space....To BE.

It is UNHEALTHY to All-of-a-Sudden abstain from participating in activities, events, and extra curriculars that existed in your Life BEFORE you embarked upon a NEW relationship. It feels comfortable and cozy to be In-Love and to have a Special Someone. Just REMEMBER that at ALL times, You WANT TO BE PREPARED TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET If the Unfortunate DOES present itself. Accordingly, you want to have maintained on-going relationships with EVERYONE who has always meant so MUCH to you, for they may end up being the Shoulders upon which you rest, during the initial period of Break-Up SORROW.

The 'Love of Your Life' should be a Major PART of Your Life. He nor She should EVER be sanctioned as Your ENTIRE Life.

SPEAKING FROM XPERIENCE

Xem VanAdams

Inspiration. Motivation. Truth.

I read this Quote while I was completing a writing project yesterday. I LOVED it so much that I compressed it onto this piece of lined paper, and plastered it as a Sin.Sational, Lil Addition to my Official MySpace Page. I LOVE Everything it Stands for.

Are ALL of You Socialites & Celeb.U.Tantes either on My MySpace and/or FaceBook Friends Lists?...cause if Not...I Mean...WTF?

[Spiritual Garden] Falling In LOVE with SELF

IF You have NOT already Created a YouTube Page, as to SUBSCRIBE to My Growing List, PLEASE Do So TODAY.

I want ALL of My SOCIALITES and CELEB.U.TANTES to be Automatically UPDATED whenever a NEW Video Posts. I WANT 1,000 SubScribers by My February 17th BirthDay. As of Today, EMERALD EYE ENTERTAINMENT, in part of YouTube, stands at 537 SubScribers. That is NOT Enough. Im growing very IMPATIENT with having to REPEATEDLY ask Each of You to SUBSCRIBE to My Page. It's LITERALLY a CLICK of the SUBSCRIBE Button. THOUSANDS of you are LITERALLY Watching My Videos and Commenting upon them. HOWEVER...You are NOT Supporting Me by SUBSCRIBING.

As of December 1, 2008, ONLY SubScribers and Friends will be ALLOWED to even Leave Comments on the Videos I Release. PLEASE Do NOT be one of the Socialites/Celeb.U.Tantes who has NOT embarked upon the collective Journey.

Saturday, February 17, 2008

Xem's 26th BirthDay Party

Falling In Love With MySelf

Original Poem Written

by

Domonique Williams

of

Washington, DC

Last night while the world was Sound and Asleep,

I studied myself in the mirror.

...and all of a sudden,

My breathing is in perfect harmony with my beating heart.

I am the perfect instrument.

An orchestra of emotions from ending to start;

Indeed a love affair like nothing Ive ever felt before,

Never in a million years could I have prepared for the relationship in store.

It is the warmth in the harshest of cold.

It is breath of the freshest air.

I am satisfied...

I am fulfilled...

I am totally aware.

Reassuring trust that shines like light in the darkest of night,

This is comfort, this is honesty, and this is what a real love feels like.

When pleasure is the only principle in making my day,

No other human being could make me feel this way.

In a world stricken with poverty, I am supplied with an abundant amount of wealth.

I have discovered the ultimate relationship,

FALLING IN LOVE WITH MYSELF!

Falling In Love With YOURSELF

Sometimes, we spend so MUCH of our time DOING THINGS for Other people, and investing our time into Other people, that we FORGET to indulge in OurSelves for a bit. It often times becomes so overwhelming and consuming, having to be Happy for Others, Strong for Others, Supportive of Others and Physically Present for Others. We think of Ourselves as being Selfish when we say NO, or even contemplate the notion thereof. The stress becomes so heavy and tiring on our spirits that we find ourselves 'Falling-In-Love' with the FIRST damn person who comes along to eliviate even HALF of the burden, or who provides an 'Escape'. Right?

Well...Guess What? When you have TRULY Fallen-In-Love with YOURSELF, there is No One and Nothing on the face of the planet that can Overwhelm, Ruin, Dampen or Destroy your Spirit. The Happiness and Comfort that you soon find from within, is MORE than enough to carry you over the threshholds of despair and degradation. When people Criticize You, Judge You, Label You or attempt to Ostracize your character, NONE of it takes a toll on your being. WHY?......
...because if you have TRULY Fallen-In-Love with YOURSELF, then you have already ACCEPTED and IDENTIFIED your shortcomings, weaknesses and flaws. You have made a mental list of all that you want to improve upon, and you're taking the NECESSARY steps to do so.

Being IN-LOVE with yourself does NOT border on Arrogance or Conceit. Its a State of Mind, and a State of Existence that allows an Individual to find an ultimate level of Peace and Sanction within their own, private space. No longer do we depend upon the presense and comfort of other Men and/or Women to solidify our Happiness, Mood or Train of thought. We no longer identify our status in society by whether or not we are engaged, married or existing in a commited relationship. When you have TRULY Fallen-In-Love with yourself, you can sit in the comforts of a Dark Room, for Hours, without Sound. Your comfort comes from knowing that YOU are NOT Leaving YOURSELF to fall by the waiste side of Sorrow, Pressure or Angst. You are your own Support corner when No One else is answering their Telephone, or Replying to Text Messages. You have truly FALLEN-IN-LOVE with yourself when you seek the Pleasures of doing a Dinner, Movie, Walk, Jog and/or other Leisure activity, ALONE...by CHOICE.

To Fall In Love with Yourself is the Greatest Feeling in the World. Then, and Only Then, with God in our Hearts and Souls, can we stand in the Truth of Our Convictions, unafraid to face the demons of the World.

YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO EXIST IN YOUR LIFE IN ORDER TO FEEL A SENSE OF STRENGTH. A MAN CAN NOT BRING LOVE AND HAPPINESS INTO YOUR HEART UNLESS YOU ARE ALREADY HAPPY AND IN-LOVE WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A HUMAN BEING.

*DISCLAIMER*: This Post was NOT Edited before Posting. My Eyes are BARELY Open. Im Tired Socialites and Celeb.U.Tantes. GOODNITE....

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

ANTR Entertainment

One of my most Supportive Socialites from the East Coast, Samuel Smith, is the founding President and CEO of his own Event Planning Company. It brings me GREAT PLEASURES in inviting EACH of you to Please visit his Website, and to join his Members list. Donations towards your membership are simply $1.00, which provides you with the opportunity to actively engage in all of the Benefits and Luxuries that ANTR Entertainment provides its patrons. The details of service are outlined on The ANTR Official website.

Please CLICK HERE to View, and Pledge your $1.00 Donation.