Xem VanAdams: September 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

Tops UP, Bottoms DOWN.

Tops UP-Bottoms DOWN

Commentary by

Xem VanAdams-Lumumba

Have you ever paid attention to the FACT that amongst the Gay community, MANY of us tend to Chastize, Ridicule and Label young, men who play the 'Bottom, Passive Role' as SLUTS, quicker and easier than we do the SAME young, promiscuous men who play the 'Top, Aggressive Role'?

As far as I am concerned, a Promiscuous man is a Promiscuous man, regardless of the Sexual Role that he plays in the bedroom, or car, or dimly lit park alongside Druid Hill, in Baltimore.

LP!-Laughing Profusely

[I Digress]

Ive noticed that many of my Male Friends and Associates alike, tend to judge the sexual behaviors of Bottom Boys, a lot more harshly than those who classify themselves as 'Strict Tops'. SERIOUSLY. I HATE to make this comparison, BUT it's almost as Negative and UnFair as the Freshman girl in High School who gains the reputation of being a WHORE for sleeping with the Senior Classmen, and yet, the Senior Classmen continue to garner Accolades, Praise and Machismo Browny points for FUCKING as many of the Freshman girls as he can before Graduation.

There's a Gay Blogger who has become INFAMOUS for his tales of being a 'STRICT TOP', who has conquered the likes of 'Bottom-Boys' across New York City and Beyond. I happen to LOVE his writing style, as well as his Blunt and Abrasive telling and recount of the 'MANY' young men who have stained and experienced pleasured pains beneath his sheets. I think many of his readers get a Thrill from his amusing tales of Catch and Conquer, for he's sharing them from the Point of View of a young man who is the Aggressor; hence, a reflection of societal acceptance of Masculinity and Sexual Prowess. He represents the Black, Male-Brute; whom many attribute a long line of more severe, negative Stereotypes, regarding the Black Male, Globally.

My FEAR, is that MANY of our young men of the community, are also adapting the notion that their Promiscuous behavior is Sexy, Appealing and Acceptable, for as long as they are acting as the Penetrator, as oppose to the Penetrated. The detriments in such a Thought Process, is the FACT that with this ideology, also stems the notion that the behavior is SAFE, and therefore, regarded in engagement, without the use of a Condom or any other form of Sexual Protection.

Meanwhile, the Young Men who PREFER to be Penetrated, are NOT given the same leverage and freedom, in feeling sanctioned, in their promiscuous behavior; moreso because of the passive role they play, beneath their mates. We JUDGE the 'BOTTOMS' in the Gay Community, as being inferior, in comparison to their 'TOP' counterparts. Even in 'PLAY', we will joke with our friends by saying such things as,

'Shut Up U Sloshy Bottom'...or 'Fuck U, U Lil Bottom Whore.'

The term BOTTOM is used in a Derogatory manner, as to create a clear margin of seperation between the varying Sexual roles of our community.

I think MANY of us are also STILL associating the 'TOP' as this extremely HyperMasculine, Man, whose Bravado and Style are a reflection of the Hip-Hop mainstream, and Urban Trademark of 'Acceptance'. Accordingly, we associate the 'BOTTOM' with extremely Effiminate qualities that are suppose to reflect a sense of Weakness and Passive-Submissive behaviors.

It has become abrasively OBVIOUS to Me that the younger generation of Gay, Black, Males arent as 'COMFORTABLE' in declaring their Sexual Role. Now, more than ever before, EVERYONE labels themselves as VERSATILE, or VERSATILE-TOP/VERSATILE-BOTTOM. Im wondering if the 14-24 generation even exists in relationships where they ALWAYS play the same role in the bedroom, alongside their Boyfriends/Lovers/Friends/Fucks. I wonder if dudes in High School and Early College STILL ask, 'Are You a Top, or Are You a Bottom?' Im ASSUMING that dudes just enter into their 'Situations' as Versatile 'Performers'.

LP!

I'm personally ANNOYED by dudes who claim to have NEVER been penetrated, and then go on to declare that they will NEVER allow themselves to be penetrated. For me, YES, I allowed my Ex-Boyfriend to penetrate me, because I Loved him. There were no real boundaries in our relationship. Though Ive never allowed anyone else to get that close to me, and I dont particularly enjoy the feeling, I DO Believe that each of us has the ability to be SUBMISSIVE to a man who we TRULY Love. I think its almost necessary in order to determine, which role is PREFERED. Though I have a Strong, fairly Aggressive personality, I DO BELIEVE that IF I fell 'In-Love' again, at some point in my life, I WOULD be Open to the idea of being Submissive to my man. In return, even IF he was an Old School 'STRICT-TOP', I do Xpect that he WOULD allow me to do MORE with his ASS than to simply grab hold of it during intercourse.

I have Friends who entered their relationships as 'The Bottom', and naturally, over time, wanted to Explore OTHER territory. Their man wont allow them to Eat His Ass or anything that even comes Close. For Me, I could NEVER be in a relationship with a Man who would NOT allow me to Eat His Ass. Its my FAVORITE treat. Id prefer that over ANYTHING else, sexually. Seriously. I can MUNCH for HOURS...Well, for an Hour.

Im AFRAID that the Men in our community who are declaring 'STRICT TOP' Status, are the ones who Privately THINK that they are PRIZED because their Ass/Hole has never been Touched. Its So RIDICULOUS how WE, GAY Men, place Titles and Labels on Every Damn Thing we Say, Do, Wear, Touch, See, Smell, Hear and Know...

Do You THINK and/or FEEL that BOTTOMS in our community or even the Label, 'BOTTOM' is Inferior in comparison to TOPS or the Label 'TOP'?

'Creation is Representation' [Xem; August 2008]

'Knowledge and Artistry ABOVE My own VANITY' [Xem; July 2008]

'Im Drenched in Love and Showered by Support'[Xem; April 2008]

'Life Without Photographs are Moments that Never Happened'[Xem; August, 2007]

Sunday, September 28, 2008

SETTLING vs. CHOICE in GAY Relationships

'Creation is Representation' [Xem; August 2008]

Saturday, September 27, 2008

LOVE Gone WRONG in Year ONE.

Why Does 1 Year seem like 10 in Gay Relationships?

'We've been Together for a Year.

Even though Im Sick of His Shit, I Love Him til Death'

"The minute you SETTLE for less than you deserve

you get even less than you SETTLE for"

**************************************************************

He Sits Home ALL Day on My Computer, while Im at Work.

I Let Him Drive My Car, even though He Picks Me Up Late.

...He NEVER Has Money to Fill Up the Gas Tank.

He does Not Cook or Clean the House while He's Home.

Oh, Yea...I Let Him Move In with Me by Month 3 of Us Being Together.

...He had NoWhere else to Go.

We Fight All of the Time. I Dont Want to Press Charges.

I Found him on Black Gay Chat and/or Adam4Adam.

He uses My WebCam while Im Asleep.

I Pay his Cell Phone Bill, Car Note and Insurance.

He's Very Affectionate, so I Know He DOES Love Me...RIGHT?

I DONT KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO.

I cant even begin to explain how often I hear these SAME, Pathetic Lines from MANY of my Brothas across the country. Most recently, I ran into my Ex-Boyfriend here in Los Angeles. He's the same Ex-Boyfriend I was involved with for Four years in Baltimore, between 2001 and 2005. As he and I have begun to build a Friendship, void of past hurt and previous pains, he has become 'Comfortable' sharing the details of his current relationship with Me. I listen, in support of his woes, ESPECIALLY because he doesnt have many friends here in California. He has always been an emotional Mess who depends upon the comforts and confines of a relationship, to solidify his levels of Peace and Happiness. I Love Him Dearly and think that he is an extremely Talented, Attractive and Nurturing individual. I just DONT seem to UNDERSTAND how in three years, he has only managed to 'Fall-in-Love' with dudes who Dont Work, Dont Go to School, Dont have Transportation, a Place to Live, and yet, have Criminal Backgrounds, and Little to Nothing, OVERALL, to bring to the Table...

People ask Me just about DAILY, Why I am 'Still-Single'. I quickly tell them ALL that at this point in my life, as I am in pursuit of fulfilling ALL of my career goals and aspirations, I am NOT going to ruin the sanctity of my Peace, by jumping head-first into a relationship, with a Dude whose 'Drama' is only going to disturb my Focus. Ive come too far, Mentally, Spiritually and Emotionally, in the past three years, to simply fall off path, NOW. IF I am going to Call Someone my Boyfriend, Lover, Man or Husband, he is going to HAVE to fill that Role to its Maximum Capacity.

Im NOT putting up with the BullShit that MANY of My Brothas CHOOSE TO.

My Ex-Boyfriend is dating a young man who is 25 years old. They met a year ago, here in Los Angeles. Lets call the Dude, EUGENE. EUGENE has a Firey Temper, that even his Best Friends WARNED my Ex about, within the first few weeks of them dating. Eugene and my Ex have been in SEVERAL Physical Altercations over the past Year, to the point of Police being called. Eugene does NOT have a job, and has not worked the ENTIRE time he and my Ex have been together. He DOES, however, take classes at a local Beauty School, so My ex tells Me. Eugene does NOT drive, has commited some level of Murder/Assault in the past, and LIED to My Ex in the very beginning, regarding his 'Have Status'. A 'Have Status', meaning, his Credentials.

Once he found out that My Ex is a Graphic Designer/Photographer, he LIED about his Career, Car, Apartment and Education Level. My Ex was VULNERABLE and Tired of being 'ALONE' here in California. Since Eugene fit the 'Short, Lite-Skin, PrettyBoy' prototype that attracts My Ex to any boy standing, Eugene was able to STICK AROUND, in spite of his Lies and Xaggerated Tales.

It's a Year Later. When my Ex and I were hanging out two weeks ago, he and Eugene were 'Broken-Up'. Eugene had packed his bags, hopped on an airplane, and went to visit family on the East Coast. Apparently, Eugene breaks up with My Ex once a month, for situations that include, My Ex not being able to answer the phone to talk to him while he's at work. Eugene will get pissed off if My Ex does not stay on the phone with him while My Ex is Home in Baltimore, around his Family or Friends, visiting. Eugene wants to Fight if My Ex questions him about his phone, Though, Eugene goes through My Ex's Text Messages and Voicemails, Daily. Yea...Like, Totally UnHealthy and Ridiculous, Right? My Ex recently bought a New Car, and Eugene was HEATED because he did not have a say in what Type of car My Ex purchased.

I REPEAT: Eugene does NOT Work or Contribute Financially to the Relationship, at all.

I Know My Ex is a Loving, Gentile Individual whose weakness is being able to be ALONE, without feeling LONELY. However, it TRULY Bothers Me to see him SETTLE for far LESS than he DESERVES. It IRRITATES ME to the High Heavens to watch ALL of My Brothas SETTLE for these Young, Misguided, Young Men who bring NOTHING to the table, aside from their Selfish Antics, Insecurities, Lies, Deception and Violent, Child-like Angst.

WHY are so MANY of YOU putting Up with it? I CANT, for the Life of Me, UNDERSTAND WHY yall arent just Dating One Another. WHY NOT Date on your Same Age and Maturity Level?

For Me, I DONT PERSONALLY CARE If a Dude has a Car or a Lot of Money.

HOWEVER, he SHOULD be able to buy ALL of his basic necessities (Deoderant, Soap, Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Underwear), as well as be able to treat ME to dinner, skating, a drink, etc. every so often. IF he is in school, FULL-TIME, I Can Excuse him not having money, even though when I was in college, I saved my money, and didnt have to ask My Ex for ANYTHING...EVER.

IF You are waking up, EVERYDAY at 6am/7am, leaving out of the house to make a living, Your 'MAN'/House-Boy/BoyFriend, should be doing the SAME. IF He is NOT Working Full-Time, he NEEDS to be enrolled in some type of Training or Certification course. College Sucks Balls, and I HATED every day of the Six Years I spent going. College does not work out for everyone, BUT...Your 'Boo' should be receiving Classroom Skills, of some form, in some area of Interest.

ADULT MEN, in 90%-100% Health, should NOT be sitting home on the Computer All Day, ESPECIALLY when 50% of those hours arent being spent on Career Builders, CraigsList, and the other Job Search WebSites.

STOP giving your 'Boo' the PRIVILEGE of Driving YOUR Car while You're at Work. WHEN he CRASHES your ride, You already KNOW that he does NOT have the Money or Insurance coverage to pay for damages. Furthemore, he has NO Money to put GAS in your car, after he has Ripped and Run your Full-Tank to Empty by the End of the Day. YOU are the one having to pay all of his Speeding and Parking Tickets, for he could care LESS about your Car or your OTHER financial repsonsibilities.

...and IF his Ass was paying his Cell Phone Bill BEFORE He Met You, he can STILL pay the Fuckin Bill Now that Yall are Together. STOP feeling GUILTY and SCARED that you 'Wont Be Able to Contact Him' if his phone gets Cut-Off. TRUST ME...He is NOT going to allow himself to be 'Cut-Off' from being able to contact his Girlfriends via Phone and/or Text Message. The Bill Will be Paid WITHOUT Your Assistance...if NOTHING ELSE.

What tends to happen in Our Relationships, is a Detrimental Pattern of Weakness. However the ways in which the first 3 Months of a relationship is framed, pretty much dictates how the remainder of the relationship is going to foster. IF the grounds are shaky and faulty between month One and month Three; The HoneyMoon Period, I PROMISE YOU that the ENTIRE relationship is going to be Shaky as Well. NO...Things are NOT going to Change or Get Better once you start allowing your man to take Full-Advantage of You. Things NEVER Change or Get Better.

IF YOU ALLOW A MAN TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP, HE WILL CONTINUE TO COMMIT THE CRIME THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP.

There is No Chance of Change or ReDirection, ESPECIALLY in GAY Relationships. PERIOD.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Syrai's IntroSpective Interview: 'RAW. REAL. REFLECTIVE...'

Friday, September 19, 2008

Syrai Ocean: Young,Black & GAY in America

The Living Legacy

My SYRAI

[SeaJae Mugler]

Coming THIS Weekend:

The XCLUSIVE VIDEO Interview...

Syrai Speaks

Acclaimed Writer/Blogger/Filmmaker

XEM VanAdams-Lumumba

A New YouTube Video XCLUSIVE...

RAW. REAL. REFLECTIVE.

Syrai's Story about being...

YOUNG, BLACK & GAY in AMERICA

copyright(c)2008

ALL Photos SHOT-DIGITIZED & EDITED

Xem VanAdams-Lumumba

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA

TUNE into YouTube THIS WEEKEND...

You Do NOT Want to Miss this 2-Part Series

YouTube.com/XemVanAdams

The Living Legacy Continues...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

When 'LOVE' is NO Longer ENOUGH

Too often, I am either on the direct receiving end, or eavesdropping on a conversation, where I am hearing someone say, '...but I CANT LEAVE because I still Love Him'...

In March of 2005, Shevonne gave me the BEST advice that a Lifelong Friend could EVER give. She had experienced my four year relationship, right along with me. She was present for every Bright and Dark moment that shadowed 2001-2005 for Me and My Ex. Shevonne looked at me one day, and simply said...

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IN-LOVE WITH SOMEONE,

DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE WITH THAT SOMEONE

To this very day, I HAIL that line as one of the most PROLIFIC statements that has ever had a direct effect on my life, and a very poignant decision I had to make; to FINALLY END a long-term relationship that had already Crossed the Line of being UnHealthy.

During that phase of my life, I did not KNOW or UNDERSTAND the lines that suggest one is traveling along the road of an UnHealthy Union. In My mind, as intelligent as I can be about certain topics and issues, I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT that because my EMOTIONS were wrapped up in this Dude, it also meant that I was suppose to keep living, confined in the relationship. HELL NO Ladies and Gentlemen.

SURE...It becomes HARD as HELL to live everyday without knowing that you are going to see him, hear from him, lay with him and play with him. HOWEVER, the Ultimate level of TRUTH for any of us, is the fact in knowing that PEACE OF MIND rests within. Theres NOTHING like being able to wake in the morning and KNOW....

1. No One is going to be Crying on the Opposite end of My Phone just because I decided to spend time with My friends for the First Time in 3 months, and did Not invite Him to come along.

1a. No One is going to show up at my front door, threatening me IF I dont open it. No More 911 calls to have him removed from the Property.

2. When I write my checks for this months Bills, I do NOT have to remember to get his checkbook and his monthly statements, to write, seal and mail his too.

3. After Ive had a LONG week in class and at work, and all I want to do is go out, have a cocktail and dance, I do NOT have to spend my night justifying WHY some other Dude(s) were staring at me on the dance floor.

4. When I am sleepy, and dont feel like having our Friday Night Date, I no longer HAVE to fake flu symptoms, just to avoid an argument or being called selfish, for missing one night out of 1,817 others.

5. Everytime my phone rings and I answer it to have a brief conversation, no one is going to question me as to Who I was talking to, and then, attempt to snatch my phone, just to see IF I am telling the Truth.

6. On Valentines Day, No one is going to be Crying and Sulking, just because I didnt plan a 3-day weekend to the mountains, for skiing, sledding, and stomach turning 'Romance'. UGH~

7. No More having to hold the phone up to my ear for 3 hours, until he falls asleep, because he CANT rest easy without 'feeling as if Im right there' [Dead Serious]

8. I will No longer find Hotel Receipts, Photos, MapQuest Directions and other Paraphanalia from interactions that took place between Him and Other Random Dudes during the WEEK or TWO that we were having problems, and I didnt feel like Talking about them Anymore.

9. When I decide to go to a Club, once every 3 months with my male friends, I wont be called a Slut and a Whore, or cried to about, 'Leaving Me for Someone I Met on the Dance Floor'

10. I HAVE THE PEACE OF MIND in knowing that I Can Say and Do Whatever I WANT to do, and I DONT Owe an Explanation to ANYONE, other than God, and POSSIBLY, My Mother...

PLEASE DO NOT Remain in an Unhealthy relationship JUST BECAUSE you still 'Have Feelings'. In life, none of us has the power to control our feelings or emotions. However, we DO control how we behave as a result of those feelings and emotions. LOGIC FIRST when dealing with matters of the Heart. You can NOT allow your emotions to DICTATE the decisions you make in regards to ANY relationship in your life. Otherwise, Mr. Stupid Decision ALWAYS Wins.

When POLICE have been called, You've been made to feel Guilty for Wanting to spend time with People OUTSIDE the confines of your relationship, Your Email and Cell Phone are being HACKED into...in Search of Exhibit A or B, and you're being constantly ACCUSED of 'Doing Things' that you've NEVER Done...its TIME to Hit It.

When HE has children on the way, or is STILL dating Other Men or Women after 3 months, its TIME to Hit it.

IF YOU KNOW that he has a WIFE, HUSBAND, GIRLFRIEND, BOYFRIEND or ' SPECIAL FRIEND', and has been telling you for MONTHS that he is 'Leaving Soon'...its TIME to Hit it.

When You CANT ENJOY the Life you knew BEFORE Him, because he holds you hostage from it, or Wont make the attempts to Explore it with you, DESPITE how Supportive you are of his Passions, its TIME to Hit it.

If His Ass does NOT help Wash, Scrub, Cook, Vacuum, Wipe Down, Sweep, Polish or Rinse ANYTHING in or around the place yall share or the cars yall drive...Yeah...Umm...its TIME to Hit it.

DO NOT REMAIN IN THE CONFINES OF ANY RELATIONSHIP 'Just Because' the LOVE is Still There

IF You have EVER TRULY LOVED another Human Being, PLEASE KNOW that the Love is NEVER going to Fade Completely, for IF it does, or IF it has, You NEVER, TRULY Loved that Individual.

It is OKAY to LEAVE...

Tell Him that XEM Says So.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Coming Soon: The Syrai VanAdams Project

Syrai Ocean & Xem VanAdams

November 2005-Present
COMING SOON:
The Syrai Ocean-VanAdams Project

Many of you have grown to know Syrai as one of my CLOSEST and DEAREST Male Friends, as well as being My Personal Assistant for the past 2 years. He has aided me in some of my most CHALLENGING moments between 2005 and Present Day, ESPECIALLY NOW, as I have had to make Xtra Time to take care of ALL of the business and affairs that are directly associated with this Blog and the HUGE LAUNCH of The Emerald Eye Entertainment YouTube Page. Syrai is one of my Trusted and Beloved ADAMS, and I will LOVE him until the END of Time; Eternally.

YESTERDAY, since Syrai is HERE in Los Angeles, California, aiding me in taking care of URGENT business that ALL of you will SOON discover; He and I shot some NEW VIDEO and PHOTOGRAPHIC Footage at MALIBU BEACH.

Syrai has spoken Candidly to my cameras about his Life and Times, living as a YOUNG, GAY, BLACK Man in AMERICA. The conversation and interview went XTREMELY WELL, and I am ever so XCITED to release the New Photos and Controversial Video to the Press, NEXT SUNDAY, September 21, 2008.

While this week will be spent DIGITIZING and EDITING the Content, I Want each of You to KNOW that The Photos and Video Footage WILL be Posted HERE, on My YouTube, as well as on MySpace.

THIS VIDEO IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE THE INFLUENCE THAT ALL OF MY 14-21 Year Old Viewers have been ASKING ME FOR.

Its Raw. Its Honest. Its Sincere.

I Foresee 10,000 Views by October 20, 2008.

WAIT in ANTICIPATION...

ALL of these Photos of SYRAI have been PREVIOUSLY Released

SHOT-DIGITIZED and EDITED

XEM VanAdams-Lumumba

>between November 2005 and May 2008<

CONTACT Information for SYRAI Will be Posted with The OFFICIAL Release of his YOUNG, BLACK & GAY in AMERICA Photos & Video Footage.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

HAPPY 1 Year ANNIVERSARY!

Today, September 13, 2008

EMERALD EYE ENTERTAINMENT

Celebrates

The ONE YEAR Anniversary of Our BLOG

One year ago TODAY, after spending 2002-2006, releasing and sharing Photos, Entertainment Updates, Picture Albums, Personal Life Involvements and Circumstances via email to ALL of my Friends, Family and Close Associates, I decided to keep an active, visual record of everything that framed the existence of my life. I embarked upon the task of Blogging; sharing my ideas, feelings, opinions, criticisms, critiques and CREATIVITY with the WORLD.

With this being the 394th Post that we have made here at Emerald Eye Entertainment, its a supreme wonder that I've captivated and maintained the attention of so MANY individuals; Male and Female, across the country and beyond.

With the LAUNCH of our YouTube page on August 8, 2008, Emerald Eye Entertainment has also garnered the attention of an audience that did not know about Me[XEM] and all of my endeavors, activism and artistic talents. Its such a BLESSING to be surrounded by individuals who are intrigued and interested in reading what I have to say; especially the interest that stems from a lot of my Young, Gay, Black Teenagers and Young Adults who have not had role models or guidance of any sort, in their lives.

If you srummage through our archives from the past YEAR, you'll notice that in the beginning, the MAJORITY of our posts were related to the Life and Times of Celebrities. I focused a great deal on the People in this World who already receive mounds of attention and coverage; stemming from every media circuit that exists. Over time, as I began to nurture my voice, fall in Love with the Blog, and receive such an outpour of response from the community, I began to shift the attention of the Blog to ME and My Personal Struggle.

Moving here to Los Angeles, California has been a MAJOR turning point for my ENTIRE LIFE; Professionally, Socially, Creatively, and Actively.

Being removed from the confines and comforts of my Owings Mills Apartment and Psuedo 'Celebrity' Status on the Gay Scene of Baltimore/DC/Virginia, it gave me the Energy, Power and Time to comment upon ISSUES that I would have otherwise, Ignored. If you scroll through June 2008, up to NOW, you will see a MAJOR shift in the Focus of Posts, when compared to those I posted while living in Baltimore; on the East Coast. I think that God pulled me OUT from the 'Flash' in order to humble my spirit a bit, and to guide me CLOSER to fulfilling his Purpose and Plan for my life. God has ordered my steps, and within a four month period, LOOK at EVERYTHING that he has allowed Me to See, Do and Experience.

I am now being PAID to WRITE Full-Time; the one thing in Life that I LOVE doing; effortlessly. I have been Interviewed by Tom Blumenthal for Serve The Kids Radio, in response to my Critically Acclaimed YouTube Mini-Doc, 'Young, Black & GAY in America'. The Mini-Doc, combined, has been viewed by more than 25,000 Young Men and Women across the Country. I am also in creative talks with a HollyWood Producer who must remain nameless at the moment. ALL of My Close Friends and Family are aware of this opportunity, BUT until everything is solidified, I can not publicly address the details.

I Thank God EVERYDAY for allowing me to share my voice with the World. This is ALL that I have EVER wanted to do in my Life. Its even MORE Amazing just how many people, on a DAILY basis, send me messages HERE, on YouTube, MySpace and My Personal Email, THANKING Me and PRAISING Me for doing something that just comes Naturally and Easily. I just CANT wait until Im able to Financially Support EVERYONE in my life, solely based on using my Creative Juices.

The next YEAR for EMERALD EYE ENTERTAINMENT is going to be a WorldWind.

We are going to SHOOT into an entirely New MACROCOSM of Existence. The Posts that you are going to read and the videos that you are going to watch are going to be focused more upon SOCIETY, as oppose to Celeb.ri.Dom. YES there will ALWAYS be Photos, for Life aint worth Living Without them.

HOWEVER, in contrast, we are also going to be commenting heavily upon issues that face The Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and TransGender Community. There are a LOT of Issues, Concepts and Circumstances that go swept under the carpet; Unaddressed and Ignored. There are literally THOUSANDS of 13, 14, 15 and 16 year old boys who reach out to me for answers. I want my Writings and My Videos to aid them in their journey through school, relationships, family pressure, sexual identity crisis', and other forms of their daily struggles and hardships. Its my chosen path to be the voice and confidence that many of them lack.

I WILL NOT, However, IGNORE My GROWING, HeteroSexual, Female Audience.

Each of you has EMBRACED Me with such LOVE and COMMITMENT, and I WILL be delivering Messages and Commentary that DIRECTLY effect your lives and existence as well. I LOVE the Support that each of you extends to Me. It keeps me MOTIVATED and AMBITIOUS. Above ALL, Im just PROUD of the FACT that I have found a SUPREME Pathway for this Blog to travel upon. I am so grateful for my various venues to touch the people who embrace me.

I am Sooo Very XCITED as to ALL that shall come to fruition between TODAY and September 13, 2009.

Just Wait and See ALL that GOD does for Me and My Brothas and Sistas within the Next Year.

This has Only been the Beginning...

PLEASE Continue to SUPPORT Emerald Eye Entertainment HERE, as well as on YOUTUBE.

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to My Videos. Create a Page, IF You DONT already have One. The YouTube Videos are going to become a PROMINENT Fixture of Our Relations to the Community within the Coming Months.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gay Men Dating Dudes on the 'DL' [Drowned&Lost]

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Crushing On Your Friends Date/X/Lover/BoyFriend

Lately, I find myself playing the position of the Young Man ABOVE; Laying on the ground, taking Sneek Peaks at the Dude I KNOW Im NOT 'Suppose' to be Peaking at. Meanwhile, my friend is standing above us Both, OBLIVIOUS to the exchange. *SIGHS*

In my life, Ive been in several situations where the Boyfriend/X/Lover/Date/Piece, of a Friend or close Associate, has flirted with me on the sly, or has out right come on to me. Usually, Ive handled the situations very maturely, by smiling nicely, turning my head, and making it CLEAR that by no means am I going to betray a Friendship for 'Behind-The-Scene-FUN'. I pride myself on the fact that I Do NOT subject myself to situations where I so end up, INVOLVED with the X of someone in my immediate circle. Ive had associates of the past who once upon a time, Tried to 'HAVE' My Man, as soon as He and I had broken up during one of our Falling Outs. I vowed, THEN, to NEVER allow myself to play the role of the Back Stabbing Villian.

Ive publicly chastized other young men who CHOOSE to Date and/or Slosh with the Ex Boyfriend/Ex Date of one of their 'Good Friends'. As far as I have ALWAYS been concerned, REGARDLESS of Circumstances, ANYONE Who one of your CLOSE FRIENDS has EVER had ANY TYPE of Romantic Interest in or Involvement with, is Someone Who is OFF LIMITS! To me, even IF Your Friend and this Dude only dated, talked on the phone, hung out and kissed once, he is still OFF LIMITS. It can be 10-15 YEARS Later...and The Dude is still OFF LIMITS.

NO!...it is NOT Okay to 'ask permission' to Try and Holla at Ole Dude. Even if the roles are reversed, and the X/Former Date approaches you and pursues your interest, it is NOT acceptable to follow through with the advances. I DO NOT Respect ANYONE who fools around with their Friends' left-overs.

HOWEVER, Im dealing with a situation NOW where I feel myself ATTRACTED to someone who I have NO Business being attracted to. This is the SECOND or THIRD time that I have been bothered by these circumstances, in the past four years. A sense of GUILT falls upon me at times, as I have to ACCEPT the fact that the Dude who I am so 'Infatuated' with at the moment, USE TO Date one of my Friends.

ISNT THAT SO FUCKED UP? I KNOW....

The ONLY Reason WHY Me and the X-Date even associate is because of my closeness with my friend. Me and the X kept in contact throughout their Dating Months, just because he would read different posts here on my Blog, and we then, befriended one another on MySpace. He and I have NEVER said or done anything that crosses the lines of BETRAYAL, but I know that I should NOT have desires of wanting to see him NAKED. Ive tried to simply look at him as My former 'Brother-In-Law', but I cant help the fact that the qualities he posess', are so extremely attractive and inviting.

MAYBE Im a bit vulnerable because of the Fact that Im here in California; 3000 miles AWAY from the convenience I once knew in being bombarded by opportunities to invite a night guest over for 'Play-Time'. Ive received HUNDREDS of invites from dudes across the country who have seen my Youtube Videos, and who now read this Blog Daily. Ive just NEVER been the type to meet dudes online, exchange information, and hook up. Usually, there needs to be a mutual connection that bounds He and I; in which this case, equals My Friend, and His Ex.

I WANT to 'Do The Right Thing', and I am going to follow the SAME levels of Integrity that have ALWAYS kept me from stabbing a friend in the back. Sometimes, however, I just want to THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND, and Do what FEELS GOOD, as oppose to doing what I know IS RIGHT. You Know? UGH!

Damn Him for Calling Me, Texting Me, IM.ing Me and MySpacing Me so often; making it DIFFICULT for Me to be a GOOD BOY. Maybe Ill tell him that we need to be in less communication.

Have YOU ever been in a Situation WHERE You WANTED to have Sex with the Ex/Boyfriend/Date of one of your Friends? Have You ever actually followed through?

HOW did it make you feel AFTERWARDS?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Xem Critiques: 2008 MTV Video Music Awards

Sunday, September 7, 2008

2008 MTV Video Music Awards [Behind The Scenes]

The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards
Paramount Studios

[Melrose]

20 Minutes from My Apartment

The SeXi.Ness that is...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

VMA News Conference

The Vocal POWERHOUSE:

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

[Performing NEW Single 2nite!]

2008 VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

Pre-Parties

McKoy & Katy Perry

BLENDER Magazine Toast Event

Vocal POWERHOUSE

KEYSHIA COLE

Danja & TI's Dinner Party

P!NK

Malibu, California

Saturday, September 6, 2008

[LOVE Her NEW Single...]

'SO WHAT!'

If her ENTIRE New Album Sounds ANYTHING like this NEW Single, PINK is sure to Once Again Xperience the Success that framed her career with 2002's, 'MIZundaSTOOD'.

This New Track, along with the Video, are simply SIN.Sational!