Lately, I find myself playing the position of the Young Man ABOVE; Laying on the ground, taking Sneek Peaks at the Dude I KNOW Im NOT 'Suppose' to be Peaking at. Meanwhile, my friend is standing above us Both, OBLIVIOUS to the exchange. *SIGHS*In my life, Ive been in several situations where the Boyfriend/X/Lover/Date/Piece, of a Friend or close Associate, has flirted with me on the sly, or has out right come on to me. Usually, Ive handled the situations very maturely, by smiling nicely, turning my head, and making it CLEAR that by no means am I going to betray a Friendship for 'Behind-The-Scene-FUN'. I pride myself on the fact that I Do NOT subject myself to situations where I so end up, INVOLVED with the X of someone in my immediate circle. Ive had associates of the past who once upon a time, Tried to 'HAVE' My Man, as soon as He and I had broken up during one of our Falling Outs. I vowed, THEN, to NEVER allow myself to play the role of the Back Stabbing Villian.
Ive publicly chastized other young men who CHOOSE to Date and/or Slosh with the Ex Boyfriend/Ex Date of one of their 'Good Friends'. As far as I have ALWAYS been concerned, REGARDLESS of Circumstances, ANYONE Who one of your CLOSE FRIENDS has EVER had ANY TYPE of Romantic Interest in or Involvement with, is Someone Who is OFF LIMITS! To me, even IF Your Friend and this Dude only dated, talked on the phone, hung out and kissed once, he is still OFF LIMITS. It can be 10-15 YEARS Later...and The Dude is still OFF LIMITS.
NO!...it is NOT Okay to 'ask permission' to Try and Holla at Ole Dude. Even if the roles are reversed, and the X/Former Date approaches you and pursues your interest, it is NOT acceptable to follow through with the advances. I DO NOT Respect ANYONE who fools around with their Friends' left-overs.
HOWEVER, Im dealing with a situation NOW where I feel myself ATTRACTED to someone who I have NO Business being attracted to. This is the SECOND or THIRD time that I have been bothered by these circumstances, in the past four years. A sense of GUILT falls upon me at times, as I have to ACCEPT the fact that the Dude who I am so 'Infatuated' with at the moment, USE TO Date one of my Friends.
ISNT THAT SO FUCKED UP? I KNOW....
The ONLY Reason WHY Me and the X-Date even associate is because of my closeness with my friend. Me and the X kept in contact throughout their Dating Months, just because he would read different posts here on my Blog, and we then, befriended one another on MySpace. He and I have NEVER said or done anything that crosses the lines of BETRAYAL, but I know that I should NOT have desires of wanting to see him NAKED. Ive tried to simply look at him as My former 'Brother-In-Law', but I cant help the fact that the qualities he posess', are so extremely attractive and inviting.
MAYBE Im a bit vulnerable because of the Fact that Im here in California; 3000 miles AWAY from the convenience I once knew in being bombarded by opportunities to invite a night guest over for 'Play-Time'. Ive received HUNDREDS of invites from dudes across the country who have seen my Youtube Videos, and who now read this Blog Daily. Ive just NEVER been the type to meet dudes online, exchange information, and hook up. Usually, there needs to be a mutual connection that bounds He and I; in which this case, equals My Friend, and His Ex.
I WANT to 'Do The Right Thing', and I am going to follow the SAME levels of Integrity that have ALWAYS kept me from stabbing a friend in the back. Sometimes, however, I just want to THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND, and Do what FEELS GOOD, as oppose to doing what I know IS RIGHT. You Know? UGH!
Damn Him for Calling Me, Texting Me, IM.ing Me and MySpacing Me so often; making it DIFFICULT for Me to be a GOOD BOY. Maybe Ill tell him that we need to be in less communication.
Have YOU ever been in a Situation WHERE You WANTED to have Sex with the Ex/Boyfriend/Date of one of your Friends? Have You ever actually followed through?
HOW did it make you feel AFTERWARDS?
6 comments:
Stick to your guns. Maintain your integrity within the limits of how you define friendship.
When I was in my early 20s, I was not aware of the rule to not date your friend's ex's. What made it even more confusing was that it was my friend who introduced me to his ex saying "he's interested in you, I know longer care about him." I liked the guy, we dated for several months but my friend was furious. He then went and had sex with one of my ex's. Since that time, I have avoided messing around with ex's of friends in my close circle.
I hate it when we just date each other like it is NO big deal when it is...so many of us don't know what it means to RESPECT boundaries and maintain great friendships.
another good post X! you have the answer already-stop communicating with him all together. there are so many prospects out there in your land. i too will never cross that line and haven't.
But it's so fun to be bad.....LOL!
Yeah, this happen to me about two months ago. The guy was an associate of mine, who I had hung out with 3 or 4 times. We all go out together. Everyone is dancing, but he took an interest to my dancing. He exchange numbers, but I didn't answer when he called. I just sent a text. I think it's better if we don't talk. I discovered the associate was crazy that same night, so we don't talk either. hhhmm..I may have passed up my blessing..j/k
This is a difficult one here. Although I do agree with some of the things you said I do not agree that they are off limits forever. Some people are just not meant to be together, and by saying that he dated a friend of mine that I can't date him I don't think is right. You could be passing up on a good thing. On the other hand there are definitely some creepas out there who can't wait to jump on ya man at the first sign of trouble. Good post though.
Post a Comment