One of the WORST mistakes that I EVER made in my life, was Falling-In-Love and spending 80% of My Life with that Individual. I DONT REGRET Falling In Love. I DO, However, REGRET NOT spending SIGNIFICANT, QUALITY Time with ANYONE Other than HIM. For FOUR years of my life, circa 2001-2005, I practically IGNORED the existence of My LifeLong Friends, and even my Family, to certain degrees. Its a COMMON MISTAKE made by MANY while they're still YOUNG. However, its a MISTAKE that can not only CO$T you the Ones who LOVE you Most, but ULTIMATELY, it can CO$T you, YOURSELF.
One IMPORTANT LESSON I LEARNED, if nothing more between 2005 and Present, is that MY FRIENDS and MY FAMILY are the STRONGEST and Most SINCERE Support System that I Have. People SAY it ALL-of-The-Time, but in my instance, TRUTH rings Loudly. In turn, I AM the ONLY Soul who KNOWS and UNDERSTANDS My Spirit, BETTER than Anyone other than the Creator.
When we involve ourselves in relationships where EVERYONE is Shut Out of our lives, aside from the Individual we're sleeping with, we are CUTTING OFF a SUPREME Filter. One can NOT breathe Fresh Air shut away from those who have breathed Life into their existence.
Its SAD that during 2005 and 2006, under great circumstances, I had to ReLearn what Life was TRULY about, living as a Single Man, surrounded by a World that is just as Open and Free as the Wind that Pushes us along Life's journey. I had to TRY and REMEMBER what it was to exist as XEM, without Friday Night Dates, Couch Cuddling Sessions, Long Car Rides for No Reason, and Holiday Shopping for 'That SPECIAL One'. INSTEAD, what I did, as OPPOSE to REPLACING those times, altogether, is that I began to participate in those SAME activities with My Friends, My Family and By My Damn SELF.
It's DIFFICULT to NOT involve someone you're 'In-Love' with into EVERY ASPECT of your life. It's HEALTHY, actually, to involve your Partner/Boyfriend/Husband/Lover/Girlfriend/Wife into the Social, Personal, Romantic and sometimes, Business layers of your daily existence. HOWEVER, its ALSO IMPORTANT to carve out a section of LIFE that is solely based upon your INDIVIDUAL Growth, Maturation and Space....To BE.
It is UNHEALTHY to All-of-a-Sudden abstain from participating in activities, events, and extra curriculars that existed in your Life BEFORE you embarked upon a NEW relationship. It feels comfortable and cozy to be In-Love and to have a Special Someone. Just REMEMBER that at ALL times, You WANT TO BE PREPARED TO STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET If the Unfortunate DOES present itself. Accordingly, you want to have maintained on-going relationships with EVERYONE who has always meant so MUCH to you, for they may end up being the Shoulders upon which you rest, during the initial period of Break-Up SORROW.
The 'Love of Your Life' should be a Major PART of Your Life. He nor She should EVER be sanctioned as Your ENTIRE Life.
SPEAKING FROM XPERIENCE
Xem VanAdams
6 comments:
Thats word Xem. I've never been in a relationship but I've known others who have and I feel you. I have also thought about all the time I would want to spend with someone and honestly..Ive spent so much TIME by MYSELF for MOST of my LIFE, that I know I'll be okay. It just remains to be a roller coaster through life trying to figure out who are the best people in your life when all you've had was yourself to deal with..of course you've experience alot that I still want to but its cool. I know time will tell when I'll get my opportunity will come.
Man you had it bad! Some of us are lucky enough to meet that one person that seperates us from everything we love and blind us to all that defines us, for me it was a brotha named Derrick, he was everything to me and I would even get jealous if he spent time with someone outside of me, but little did I know his life went on while my life stood still. It appears you dedicated four long years to your relationship, to bad yu wasn't earning interest on that relationship, the bank would owe you .
Emerald Eye, the beauty of it all is that you learned that you are capable of giving love and accepting love, the sad part is that you will never ever feel the same way about anyone the way you did about that person, we are given, but one chance to feel that way, oh you will love again, but with reservations.
I think its important to maintain an appropriate balance in your life. Your partner is only one part, the other parts must also be attended to.
Damn i couldnt have said it better...me personally looking from the outside in and being rejected by a close friend and slowly losing them..i have to show this to them. cuz from my personal experience i have noticed this trend twice and i have been the best friend i could be and dealt with it before, during, and after the relationship was over. i commend this post and worship it because it needs to be recognized and you handle it from all angles!..THNK YOU! and i LVE THIS BLOG!!!!!
i've been there for about that same period of time and had to learn the same lessons too! good blog entry X!
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